This is a fun read for Cat Lovers.

Written by Harold Reynolds in 1997 and inspired by A Small Set of Cat Rules by Cynthia Whitney, originally published in the October 9, 1989 Family Circle magazine it seems to have died on the internet...until it has been dug up by CatDog for your amusement. Enjoy!

 1. INTRODUCTION

The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy Cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.

2. FOOD

In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and Hamper, a Cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed *NOW*; and hunting for it oneself. Obviously the latter should be pursued whenever possible. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.

1. When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.

2. Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table.

3. Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from. If a human catches you at it and chases you away, run back as soon as his back is turned and drink some more (unless he tossed the water into the sink, of course).

There is a lot more, in fact it's a total of 21 pages click here to download the whole document